Jane

Ryan Adams
October 2001
Dish - "Dear Man: Ryan Adams groggily answers your neurotic questions"

Itís 4 p.m., and 26-year-old Ryan Adams-the breathtakingly beautiful solo artist, former Whiskeytown singer and ex-boyfriend of Winona Ryder-warns you that his brain isn't revved up yet while he tackles your dire questions: "The first couple hour of my afternoon is just, 'Where and when am I going to get my smokes?'" But he gives it his best shot.

Q: Should I tell my boyfriend that my mother thinks he's self-absorbed?-Wendy, Delaware
A
: Um, I'm really not interested in your mother.

Q: How come all Nietzsche readers are men? Are you all half-fascist?-Theresa, Oregon
A
: What? Fascist? Wow. These are hard questions, and I'm not even stoned or anything! Shit.

Q: I leave the TV on for my five cats when I go out. My boyfriend calls me a "crazy cat lady." Should I dump him? - Laella, Tennessee
A
: I like cats. Is he nice to you? Maybe you should just go to his place or something? See-I'm terrible at this.

Q: Sometimes I get the urge to bite my boyfriend during sex. Should I do it? - Cecilia, Arizona
A
: Bite the shit out of him! Actually, if somebody bit me, I think I would get scared. Go have a steak.

Q: How can I get a constant stream of presents, love letters and blow jobs from my man? Kathryn, New Jersey
A
: How can you get a blow job? I'm not touching that one. I bet Janeane Garofalo could answer these questions better than I am.

 

Now Ryan wants to ask you Jane readers something:

Q: Why don't sensitive-guy musicians ever get those old-style take-T&A groupies?
A
: Because those girls want to screw, not think. Plus, Mick Jagger is still alive. - Deb, Ohio